Dance To The Bang Tango

Swords and Sorcery

2008-10-25T18:47:00.000-07:00

It’s all too infrequent this lark, wish I had more time to expound upon the great and the good and especially the not quite so good.

1. Stereophonics – Billy Davey’s Daughter

We stand and laugh at the Stereophonics these days, and rightly so. But there’s an air of sadness to the laughter because when you take a look back, Word Gets Around was a simply great debut album, chock full of wonderful small town observations and genuine pathos. This was the closing track, and whilst it was slightly more obvious than a number of other tracks, it was still a poignant little piece that tied up the album in appropriate fashion. Quite what happened to them after this is a mystery. Performance & Cocktails was decent but since then? Utter dross. Very sad.

2. The Wedding Present – Kennedy

Songs about ‘too much apple pie’ can only be good. Perpetual jangle throughout, this is like U2 on amphetamines and is a lot better than that sounds.

3. Pearl Jam – Alive

What do I need to tell you about this? The song that launched them (and arguably the whole grunge movement) into the mainstream, its class in an angst-ridden glass. Not my favourite Pearl Jam song, probably not even in the top 10, but that’s purely down to the quality of material on offer elsewhere and the fact that they don’t seem to want to stop making great music. Aren’t we due another album soon?

4. Depeche Mode – Little 15

Er, sometimes sPazAmp just confuses me because it turns up stuff I’ve never even listened to before (part of the problem arising from, er, borrowing other people’s music, er, temporarily – will be giving it back now, ok?). This plods along in a fetchingly gloomy way for a while but can’t be taken seriously due to the title also being the name of a bar in Wigan which isn’t anywhere near as gloomy as the song might indicate (yes, despite being in Wigan). The song goes all uplifting mid way through. Not sure why, should have just ended at that point, saved us all the trouble.

5. Windmill – Fit

Spooky sounds from Newport Pagnall. Some people dislike his voice intensely but me, I like the discordant paths it sometimes takes, makes it all a little more real (if a little high pitched). The whole album (Puddle City Racing Lights) is an interesting study although I’d probably point you elsewhere for the best bits. This will give you a good flavour of what to expect though – the main gist of which is never to go on holiday to Japan with anyone from Newport Pagnall (I think. Possibly).

6. The Dandy Warhols – She Sells Sanctuary

The Dandys do The Cult. This could be your worst nightmare, it really could. But actually, it is arguably The Cult’s best song and as such, difficult to make a mess of (although I’m sure if I tried to cover it, we might end up with some jam on the carpet). It’s kind of a dancey version with lots of electronic ‘bweebs’ and ‘dwoods’ to accompany it, which isn’t the way I’d do it at all. In fact, why have they bothered? Just go and get the Best Of The Cult, cut a big whole out where all the other tracks are and just play this one, the original I mean. By The Cult. Do it now, I won’t be recommending this kind of thing again.

7. The Sword – The White Sea

About twice a year I have a pang of guilt for deserting my metal roots and go off in search of the Next Big Thing In Metal. Rumour had it that The Sword were the band I was looking for to fill that gap when I was searching again about four months ago and so off I set, denim jacket and patchouli oil clad, down the Highway To Hell and over the Misty Mountains in search of the real 21st century metal deal. So did I find it? Have The Sword taken their place alongside the greats? Have I played it incessantly since getting it, forsaking my indie jangle and embracing a new (but old) RIFF? Well, no. Sure, it is Rifftastic. It is loud and crunchy. It is overblown and bombastic in all the right ways. But I keep forgetting that I’m not 14 anymore, and the stuff that embedded itself there when I was 14 did so for that very reason and I still enjoy it now because it’s part of my very fabric (denim, naturally). It’s like those films you see around that age, and the books you read too. They all make a lasting impression on a new adult mind but are generally best left back Somewhere In Time. The Sword are good – if you’re 14 right now, go and get this, play it loud, annoy your parents, your neighbours and your cat. If you’re not 14, well you might still enjoy it but you probably won’t listen to it again, you’ll just dig out your old Dio albums next time and wonder why on earth you needed to find new metal messiahs in the first place.

8. Black Sabbath – Thrill Of It All

And in a wonderful confluence of tracks courtesy of the random sPazAmp running order, here is some of the real thing. The Sabs and a track from my favourite Ozzy album, Sabotage. From 1975, this was just as the drugs must have been kicking in because there’s a psychedelic edge to the whole of this album that’s probably really surprising to the outsider. Iommi piles on his best ever succession of riffs throughout the album (every song has one, some have two, Symptom Of The Universe has about 5) and the ‘De-n-n-n-n-n-n Ne-n, De-n-n-n-n-n-n Ne-n – Ne-n Ne-n’ motif of Thrill Of It All sets the tone. A classic, with Ozzy more paranoid than he ever was on Paranoid.

9. The Black Dog (featuring Ofra Haza) – Babylon (Hammurabi)

This is another song I don’t know a blimming thing about. Never even heard of this one. It’s alright though, with that opera bint who also once ‘enhanced’ a Sisters Of Mercy track.

10. The Thrills – One Horse Town

I think I’ve dissed The Thrills on here before. This is sweet and twee and wee and we should not bother with it any further.

11. The New York Fund – The Guns Of Camden Town

Saw this lot at Latitude and they impressed given the small stage and equally small crowd showing vague disinterest. This is a strong moment from their debut mini-album and worthy of some attention in an alt.country rock’n’rolly kind of way. Perhaps a little too derivative to lend them a full-blown career, but it might keep them going for a bit. More likely to get them to Camden than New York.

12. U2 – In God’s Country

I can’t engage emotionally with U2, which basically means that whilst I admire the effort they put in, it doesn’t strike any chords with me whatsoever and leaves me, well, cold. This is no exception. I find it a worry that millions of people seek their musical solace from this.

13. Half Man Half Biscuit – Sealclubbing

And whilst you perhaps wouldn’t think it, I do emotionally engage with HMHB, and they make me laugh – “If music be the food of love, are you the indigestion”, indeed. Why am I thinking of U2 again, eh? Wonderful keyboard refrain too, proving that you don’t need a big budget to make a catchy tune. I’ll be whistling that in my sleep tonight.

14. Black Lab – The Real You

How have these lot managed to get on here again? I have just one Black Lab album, it’s one too many, I shouldn’t have downloaded it, the samples promised much more than the album delivered, it’s far-too-smooth, bland radio friendly US rock, and lacking in any kind of weight at all. You think the guitar is nice at first but it isn’t – it’s all wet and wishy washy ‘doo-doo doo-doo’. Formulaic tosh.

15. American Music Club – The Dance

From their latest album, The Golden Age, a body of work filled with a gravitas missing in the average U2 (or Black Lab, for that matter) album, this is a mellower moment. Whilst it fails to meet the absolute highs of, say, The Decibels and Little Pills, Mark Eitzel’s rumbling vocals are generally enough to carry even the more quaint numbers (such as this)through the storm of hefty criticism. In lesser hands it would be sickly sweet, but here it’s warm and welcoming.

16. Gomez – Girlshapedlovedrug

Gomez seem to turn up every time I do this! This is the highlight from their last studio album (2006’s How We Operate), a gloriously intelligent yet simple pop song. It should have been a number one, no question. Wish I had a radio station, I’d show ‘em, the bastids.

17. American Analog Set – Slow Company

Not to be confused with the Music Club from the same nation, these lot think they’re a bit more clever than their fellow proud countrymen, but actually aren’t. This is nice and mellow though and would fit either band nicely I think, mainly because it’s an instrumental and so the too-smart-by-half lyrics don’t spoil things.

18. M. Ward – Neptune’s Net

An intriguing artist, M (it stands for Matt, not sure why he’s so ashamed of that) has a nice line in melodies that he only occasionally puts to full use (see Right In The Head and Magic Trick from the same album that this is culled from – Post-War). A second instrumental in a row, decent but unspectacular.

19. The Reindeer Section – Tout Le Monde

The Scottish collective led by Gary Lightbody and assorted Arab Strappers and the like, their two albums are pleasant but generally proficiently dull affairs. This has the distinction of being the most interesting track on ‘Ya’All Get Scared Now, Ya Hear’, actually it’s the only memorable track on it in my opinion (although my memory is deteriorating with age, in fairness) and is, er, quite good!

20. Enuff Z’Nuff – The Way Home/Coming Home

Heading back to my late 80s/early 90s hair metal fixation, this was my favourite Enuff Z’Nuff track of the era (I know I was probably the only person who had a favourite Enuff Z’Nuff track, but that shouldn’t put you off). It’s simplistic (probably dumb, although they were attempting not to be here, so give ‘em credit), it’s a great tune (two great tunes for the price of one actually) and I’m not ashamed to say that I still like it. Love the vocals in the intro and the second part swaggers with some style. Great!

Operation sPazCrime

2008-03-07T08:01:00.000-08:00

1. Duke Special – Something Might Happen

Bittersweet lyrics, a majestic chorus and a poptastic melody throughout, so quite why radio stations the world over aren’t falling over themselves to play this is a mystery. A splendid start to our trawl through the vaults. Get on the phone to Wogan!

2. The National – Theory Of The Crows

If you didn’t already know, The National are one of my current fave raves. Rarely setting a foot wrong (not at all on latest album, Boxer) this comes from their eponymous debut and is one of the standouts of that album, Matt Berninger getting gently angry in a way only he can. Not sure what his theory about crows is, which is unfortunate because he keeps asking us to disprove it and I just plain don't have an answer.

3. The Deadly Snakes – I’m Leaving You

A shoelace recommendation if I’m not very much mistaken. He’d sum it up much more gloriously than I could ever do, but basically this is alive with energy and subtle darkness. Very good (in fact, I'm starting to feel guilty for not having paid them enough attention previously).

4. Gomez – We Haven’t Turned Around

If you’ve read all I’ve written, you’ll know that I have a soft spot for the Southport boys with the Mississippi bent. This comes from their second album at the point where they started to get strangely overlooked (it really did start to happen midway through an album, honest). Admittedly, it doesn’t come close to debut album ‘Bring It On’ but you just have to stumble upon gems like this, shorn of their usual context, to understand that Gomez have a way with them song things. We’re on a good run, sPazAmp, keep it going.

5. Elvis Presley – Don’t Be Cruel

Hadn’t realised that Elvis was on here!! Well, there you go and here you are. You don’t need me to tell you about this, it’s already genetically encrypted into your brain. He’s dead, by the way.

6. Green Peppers – I Couldn’t Bear The Same Lies

From some Scottish bloke who’s mildly famous in music circles up there but whose name escapes me right now for reason’s of age (Charlie Brooker reckons 37 is now officially middle aged, which means I’m already there and on my way back out again!!!). The album is full of patchy pseudo-folky stuff that sometimes works but mostly doesn’t. This plods along amiably but doesn’t really set the world alight. Maybe a small tenement flat in Glasgow, but even then you’d need some kindling to really get the fire going. Worth a try though, I reckon.

7. Tribe After Tribe – Rolling Stoney

This is Robbie Robb and some other people vaguely connected to rock bands I used to like. Interspersing his rock leanings with musical themes redolent of his South African homeland made Tribe After Tribe an interesting proposition in the dull world of late 80s metal and their debut was a refreshing breath of fresh air at the time. It didn’t prove popular though, despite rave reviews (I seem to remember) and some great playing. This is an easy going number with just enough fire in its belly to keep you on your toes. So I like it because it makes me look taller, basically.

8. Panic! At The Disco – Camisado

Something I don’t think I’ve ever listened to before. Punky-rocky-stuff-by-numbers (with a couple of the colours missing) but mildly enjoyable nonetheless. It seems to be about going to hospital, possibly for a wisdom tooth extraction, although I might be misinterpreting that (or just plain lying).

9. Manic Street Preachers – Removables

It always causes me to ponder why people say their name the way they do, you know – Preachers from Manic Street rather than Street Preachers who are Manic (which I'm sure was the original aim). Can’t quite work out how to get that across in print – it should be Manic (pause) Street Preachers, rather than Manic Street (pause) Preachers. Does that make it clear? Anyway, you know what you’re getting here; angry pop with a vague tune reminiscent of most of their other tunes. Actually, quite enjoyable on its own rather than surrounded by 13 other songs doing much the same thing. Perhaps they should stop releasing albums and just concentrate on releasing songs one at a time.

10. Bob Dylan - Leopard-Skin-Pill-Box-Hat

Dylan, getting to the crux of events in the 60s by wondering about how someone feels wearing a Leopard-Skin-Pill-Box-Hat. Radical, man. “It balances on your head like a mattress on a bottle of wine” I think he just said. Not very well, then, I'm guessing. Enjoyable nonsense, if you’ll allow me to be so dismissive of his Bobness.

11. The National – Thirsty

More goodness from The National, well done sPazAmp, you’re catching on. And doing things chronologically too, with a track from second album, Sad Songs For Dirty Lovers. A song about taking someone’s girly arms (possibly Mr Berninger talking about his own arms, strangely) and, er, doing something with them. This is The National starting to find their place in the world and you can see how they’ve developed along the path starting to be trodden here. It’s good, it’s all good. Go get ‘em.

12. Soul Asylum – Be On Your Way
An old favourite from Minneapolis faves (well, maybe 3rd faves) Soul Asylum. You’re lucky because this comes from their best album ‘Soul Asylum And The Horse They Rode In On’. You’re unlucky because it’s one of the few weak moments from that album. Hey, you win some, you lose some. Singer Dave Pirner went out with Winona Ryder for a bit, you know.

13. The Offspring – Walla Walla
Don’t know why sPazAmp likes The Offspring. I don’t. I was hoping this might be an ode to Death Cab For Cutie guitarist and producer Chris Walla, extolling the virtues of his musical arrangement capabilities. But it isn’t. Unless it’s being tremendously ironic. Which I somehow doubt.

14. Queensryche – Spreading The Disease (Live)
We’ve been here before, as well. A live version of a track from a prog-metal concept album. It was scary last time and it’s scary this time. Unluckily we have over 5 minutes of widdly nonsense this time rather than the fortunate escape of a 1 minute instrumental the last time sPazAmp dallied with the ‘Ryche. It isn’t a fantastic live performance, there’s some crowd interplay (never works well on an album – come on! - it’s dull enough when you’re at the concert), there’s some spoken word (possibly Geoff Tate is trying to rap, but it does just sound like he’s talking angrily) and generally I can’t imagine why I ever liked it in the first place. I think I am cured.

15. Led Zeppelin – Dazed And Confused
The last two bands should look ahead to this and be thoroughly ashamed of themselves. With any luck, they’ll hang up their cycle shorts and bandanas for good. Possibly the highlight of the ‘Zep’s debut album, this is a fantastic blues workout with an energy that hasn’t diminished in nearly 40 years. If you didn’t already know that, well, what hope have you got?

16. Joe Henry – Shut Me Up
Joe’s album ‘Civilians’ is a mighty fine laid back slice of Americana (a genre I occasionally flirt with but with which I have so far failed to commit to a serious relationship). This isn’t particularly one of my favourites in all honesty, lacking a little edge that lifts a number of the other tracks to great heights. Passes the time, but you won’t go back and search it out again quickly.

17. The Pixies – Dig For Fire
The Pixies: fine progenitors of the indie & grunge era. But not always good. As here. Yes, it’s ok, and yes, you do sing “I’m digging for fire” to yourself for 8 hours afterwards, but it is fairly simple. Maybe simple’s good. Yes, I think it probably is. Good then. But simple.

18. The Mystery Jets – Zootime
A disappointing album and fortunately you have only 1:13 of it to endure here. I’m bemused by the record industry buzz they managed to create. What’s that? One of their members is the father of one of the other ones? How unusual. Call NME immediately. Sheesh.

19. The Killers – All These Things That I’ve Done
I occasionally seem to quite like the Killers. Bit disappointed by the latest stuff but this has that nice rolling guitar line that they don’t quite play enough. I think I like his voice, too. It has a certain charm. There you go. Doesn’t quite explain their massive success, mid-level success, yes, massive success, no.

20. Rufus Wainwright – Quand Vous Mourez de Nos Amours
The translation is ‘When You Die of Our Loves’. It should possibly be ‘When You Die of My Insistence on singing tunelessly in French for 3 and half minutes’. I’ve been duped into buying Rufus Wainwright albums twice now. Want One was ok, and had some good moments. Want Two was ok, and had even less good moments. Which means not many. And certainly not any good French moments. Sorry France (and Canada), but that’s the way it is.

2007-11-12T08:22:00.000-08:00

Third time's a charm. Here we go again (on my own, probably).

1. Howling Bells - Setting Sun

Australian alt.country noir! Or something. Anyway, it's on Bella Union, which is always a good sign in my book. Juanita Stein (these crazy Aussie names, eh?) leads the line with a restrained and plaintive vocal that sums up the album well. A strong moment from a strong album. Go investigate.

2. Bromheads Jacket - He Likes Them Airbrushed

Cockneyfied Monkeys (or Monkees?). An up and down album, this is a suburban view of lads mags and their ilk. Don't you just hate it when bands get all political? Anyway, it's ok. By no means the highlight of the album (that honour probably goes to Poppy Bird).

3. The Jam - Mr Clean

I can't decide whether I admire or detest Paul Weller. Sometimes I think he's just being obnoxious for the sake of it, but then can't help agreeing with his views on whoever he's just called a c*nt. Anyway, that's got nothing to do with the song, which isn't a bad effort but not one I'll be revisiting anytime soon, sPazAmp permitting.

4. Rainbow - Starstruck

Ah, this takes me back to my youth. From the legendary Rainbow Rising, this is Blackmore and Dio in perfect harmony. One of their 'to the point' efforts rather than an epic and none the worse for that. Of course there are rainbows, of course there are stars, although there actually aren't any dragons as far as I can make out. What there is is Richie soloing in extravagent manner but NOT overdoing it, and L'il Ronnie powering through the vocals as only he can. Classic.

5. The Offspring - The Kids Aren't Alright

I enjoyed this more than I thought I would. Particularly as it has the most inappropriate use of a 'whoa-whoa' ever, following, as it does, a line about suicide. Good work.

6. Muse - Ruled By Secrecy

The usual epic madness from Muse. Thank goodness someone still thinks epic can be good (and can generally prove the point). Occasionally, Matt Bellamy (always imagine him with Craig Bellamy's head - which obviously includes his neck as well as there is no join) gets a little too soprano for my liking (for about 1.3 seconds in this instance) but it doesn't hamper the enjoyment too much. This is more understated than usual despite the piano kicking in at 3 minutes and making you think you're watching Phantom of the Opera. Good stuff.

7. The Autons - Firebird

Their 2007 debut album is called Short Term Manifesto and the band members are Tony, David and Ray Auton. Allegedly, they met whilst auditioning to be extras on Dr.Who (as Autons, naturally) , were unsuccessful and so decided to form a band. Whatever nonsense is claimed on their website, this is a very nice slice of synth/rock/pop?!? Or something. Not entirely representative of the album (it's mostly more aggressive than this tuneful effort) but a good sampler.

8. James Blackshaw - Stained Glass Windows

Classical guitar virtuoso by all accounts, and listening to this you'd have to agree. Downloaded on a whim from eMusic (because it only had 5 tracks and seemed like good value for money!), this is a sumptious instrumental that both impresses and engages in equal measure. A rare surprise amongst the usual record industry tat released in 2007 thus far and one of the albums of the year. This is the 15 minute album closer, it sounds like about 15 people are playing at once, such is the man's dexterity, and it deserves 15 minutes of your time. They'll pass quicker than listening to the next 5 songs that happen upon your radio (especially, if they average over 3 minutes each!).

9. Pearl Jam - Release

The closing track from debut album 'Ten'. Drifting along for 9 minutes, and following on from Mr Blackshaw, this is turning into the longest sPazAmp ever! Given that I love every track on 'Ten', still listen to it more than any other album released in the 90s, and take a copy to bed with me every night, it'll come as no surprise to find me telling you that this is essential. A welcome balance to the cut and thrust of the majority of the album, this is in Temple Of The Dog territory for the most part and that is a very good thing indeed.

10. Brad - Down

sPazAmp has clearly got the message, and yet again, we get not only Pearl Jam (almost unavoidable) but also Brad (sPazAmp being much more selective there). Mellow grunge from debut 'Shame', just put your headphones on and listen to it alone and try not to be moved. Alternatively, throw one of those parties I was on about the other day and put this on at the end. Invite me, though, won't you?

11. Morrissey - First Of The Gang To Die

Unlike most people my age with any kind of interest in music, I didn't have that massive Mozzer fixation phase during those awkward teenage years. Was going to add 'not sure why' but clearly I do know and the reason was this: I was too busy throwing shapes to Dio albums for all that literate pop to have a chance of seeping in. Plus, it was actually illegal to like heavy metal and The Smiths at the same time. Once the law was repealed in the early nineties I was able to fully appreciate The Smiths' output properly but without the need to deify Mr Moz. Hence, I am able to say "this is a moderately decent pop tune that keeps you amused for a while but does little else" without the fear that I might turn to dust for uttering such heresy.

12. The Smiths - Hand In Glove

See, now it looks like I'm obsessed or something. sPazAmp clearly went around acnefied and miserable when it was 14. Me, I like the bits where Moz tries to fit too many words in the best but don't analyse that because I don't have the history, remember.

13. Aerosmith - Dude (Looks Like A Lady)

After classic Smiths, classic 'Smith. I like the way you move, sPazAmp. Yes, it's cheesy. Yes, it's from the 80s. And yes, it's quite preposterous. But it rocks like Peter Crouch in a (clearly, very) high wind. Quite how they managed to arrive at their 'Permanent Vacation' peak is a mystery to one and all, but arrive they did. Obviously, they have no idea how they did it either, vaguely recreating it for follow-up 'Pump' (childish giggle) but then forgetting completely in the 18-odd years since. Regardless, this hasn't even aged in the intervening years, which for an 80s track is truely something.

14. Ryan Adams - Burning Photographs

The most prolific man in music - I've actually given up buying Ryan Adams' albums because he makes them faster than I can save up to buy them. This isn't from any of his classic albums and certainly bears no comparison to the very best of Whiskeytown, so it's best that you move on. Go on, there's some late 80s trash/glam metal on its way!

15. Love/Hate - Rock Queen

See, told you. Now it seems to appear that Love/Hate are sPazAmp's favourites from the era and genre. However, last time they picked an awful track from their second album. This beauty is a different beast however, from debut 'Blackout In The Red Room', it's glamtastic in every possible way. Even the bit where Jizzy sings 'let me touch your cookies'. Always careful not to sing that one to myself whilst I'm wandering around Tesco.

16. Elvis Costello - Good Year For The Roses

An abrupt change of pace and tone, sPazAmp. Not sure I can actually listen to this because I'm still in cookie-touching mode. My apologies.

Right, I've contained myself now, enough to say I actually like this laid-back little number quite a lot. Costello doesn't evoke a lot of love from me - he suffers from that muso-affliction where you know he's deliberately being too clever for his own good when all you really want out of him is a decent tune - but this is one of the half-dozen tracks that I will go back to. Once every 5 years, at least.

17. Joy Division - Komakino

Interesting Joy Division track but not particularly memorable. Doesn't make you want to go back and check out their back-catalogue with any kind of urgency. Am I being too harsh? It's fair to say, I don't love this, I just own because you have to.

18. I Am Kloot - Untitled #1

Ah, the 'Kloot. About time, sPazAmp, they're hardly under-represented in your vaults. Not one of their very best, but to be honest, every Kloot track is a winner and you should head to your local record emporium immediately and buy their entire catalogue (and also place an order for their forthcoming new one). Plus how can you not love a song that contains the lyrics ,"say, you're like a tree, or a bus stop" as well as the confusedly spoken"well he said he was a vegetarian. Well, there's animals in water?" Class.

19. Snow Patrol - Make This Go On Forever

One of the less exciting numbers from latest, 'Eyes Open'. I'm not trying to be funny there, I actually have a bit of a thing for Snow Patrol and get frustrated by the fact that they get lumped into that whole Keane/Coldplay/Snow Patrol axis of evil thing. They're far more intelligent than either of those two bands, and display an honesty of emotion lacking in most modern pop. So there. Obviously, they were much better when they weren't famous (you know, on the two albums nobody's ever heard of - not even the majority of the ill-informed music press) and I'm not going to claim that I love 'Eyes Open' to bits, but it is, you know, quite good.

20. Stereophonics - I Wouldn't Believe Your Radio

Anyway, now that my credibility is entirely shot, it seems only right that sPazAmp also points out that I own some Stereophonics albums. There'll be no robust defence of them though. Oh no. First album - yes, brilliant, but then came possibly the worst decline in output in music history (excluding Oasis, naturally). This at least has the advantage of coming immediately after the first album and so, having only taken part in the start of the decline, still has some merit. 'Performance and Cocktails' does have its moments, but the fact that they released about 17 singles from it kind of lost them a lot of affection. This is ultimately pedestrian and symptomatic of what was to come...

Might as well face it, you're addicted to sPaz

2007-11-11T08:08:00.000-08:00

9th November 2007
Yes, I enjoyed it so much, I did it again the same day.
1 The Mountain Goats – Dinu Lipatti’s Bones
No idea who Dinu Lipatti is/was or quite what John Darnielle was doing with her bones but this is an exquisite example of what the Mountain Goats do best. Classy. (Addendum – Dinu Lipatti was a Romanian pianist who died of Leukaemia, aged 33, so clearly, her bones were a little poorly.)
2 Pearl Jam – Insignificance
How did you avoid them thus far sPazAmp? And then you leave us with one of the latterly, slightly less impressive tracks. I know it isn’t cool to like Pearl Jam (keep wanting to refer to them as The ‘jam but that would just confuse) but I love ‘em and I’m proud of it. This is still good despite being only about the 98th best Pearl Jam track ever.
3 The Smiths – How Soon Is Now?
The best Smiths song ever and the best riffs never to feature on a heavy metal album. This was the moment I realised Motley Crue knew nothing about how to write a tune (I know, that puts me some way behind most people, but I had strange delusions about them during the 80s).
4 Gogol Bordello – Underdog World Strike
The punky travellers (come on guys, get with the politically correct programme). I’m bizarrely reminded of Space during this track (the band, not the place) and that can’t be good. Relatively entertaining but there is only so much of it I can take. Don’t bring them around again any time soon, sPazAmp.
5 Arctic Monkeys – View From The Afternoon
Down with the kids, me. I get the Monkeys. Entertaining chart fodder and indisputably full of energy.
6 Gomez – In Our Gun
Ah, Gomez, where did it all go wrong? Do you know what, it didn’t really go that wrong, they carried on making good stuff (latest album, ‘How We Operate’, is a peach) but just carelessly lost an entire fanbase. This is pretty good, too. I think sPazAmping might be the best way to hear them because they tend to stand out when in company, more so than when surrounded by more Gomez.
7 Immaculate Machine – Don’t Leave Without Us
Canadians. But don’t let that put you off. A band I’m growing to like quite a lot at the moment. Not their strongest moment, but one to hum to yourself unknowingly for hours after you’ve heard it.
8 Smog – Revanchism
He’s married to Joanna Newsome, and you should hold that against him. She can be as critically acclaimed as she likes, you’ll not catch me anywhere near the dirges she produces. Poor Bill is now caught in the crossfire. Some of his stuff is excellent. This is ordinary, however. Onwards.
9 Beck – Sing It Again
You see, anyone who knows me will never have heard me utter a word about Beck, good or bad, because I’ve never listened to enough to form an opinion. Best start now then. It’s, er, quite, er…do you know, I can’t be bothered. Just can’t muster enough interest. Don’t know why.
10 Nina Simone – Love Me Or Leave Me
An unmatchable voice and unique phrasing that sets her apart. Mad as a brush by all accounts. A lifeless backing arrangement lets this down (the piano in the middle goes on for ages and makes you think she nipped out to powder her nose during the recording), but marvel at Nina. I hope she washed her hands.
11 Queensryche – Electric Requiem (Live)
Strange bedfellows are made on sPazAmp. Nina Simone and Queensryche – only here. This is from the LIVE version of the epic concept album, ‘Operation:Mindcrime’. If that sounds like too many scary prog metal combinations for you to handle at once, hold on to the fact that it ends after 1 minute and 16 seconds.
12 The Automatic – You Shout You Shout You Shout
I’m guessing this is about the mad keyboard player then, because that’s all he does. I thought it was endearing at first, until I realised he does it on every song. Imagine if Justin Hawkins had broken out into that daft falsetto on every Darkness song…oh, wait a minute, never mind. Please stop please stop please stop.
13 Suede – Animal Nitrate
I guess I should be saying “Classis Suede” at this point. It’s ok but there was always something missing from the Suede sound and I still don’t know what it is. You enjoy the songs down the disco but you never want to take them home and cherish them in the privacy of your own bedroom. Actually, now I’m thinking it’s quite a dull track, I’m really fed up of it now and it’s only been on for a minute and a half.
14 Black Lab – Weightless
Some of my more recent stuff (let’s call it the eMusic era) has arrived after listening to snippets on the eMusic website and being suitably impressed enough to download an album (always the whole album, mind you, none of this ‘hot track’ nonsense). Sometimes, this method works well, sometimes the snippets flatter to deceive. Such deception came from Black Lab, who sounded all interesting and moody, but ended up being dull American dross.
15 Madonna – Borderline
Now this isn’t mine. It belongs to my good wife, Sue. Clearly, I’ll be deleting it immediately but felt obliged to leave it in here, at the very least just so I can remind you to check out Madonna’s eyebrows on her early videos (such as this) and compare and contrast them from that point onwards. Great big hairy caterpillars they were. Admire the woman for her determination to succeed and remember that every morning she must spend at least 2 hours plucking the bastards to make them look the way they look now. Either that or she had some Duncan Goodhew-esque accident that affected only the eyebrows. The song is garbage, but you knew that already.
16 Pink Floyd – Goodbye Blue Sky
“Hi, my name’s Ian and I’ve been enjoying The Wall for 25 years. This is the first time I’ve been able to talk openly about my affliction.” I like The Wall. I know that isn’t the right thing to say, but I do. I know Roger Waters is a self-centred, egotistical tosspot. I know the album is pompous beyond words. But it is good and I enjoy listening to it. I like this song, too. What you gonna do about it?
17 Reef- Don’t You Like It?
No. No I don’t. You’re rubbish. Even your most popular song sounds rubbish now. And it reminds everyone of Chris Evans. You are synonymous with Chris Evans. What kind of career move was that?
18 Pearl Jam – Sad
Anything but. A glorious track – the highlight of Lost Dogs (and that’s a fine album to be the highlight of) – and you have to marvel at the fact that they kept it hidden away for so long. One of their best songs ever.
19 Murder By Death – Steam Rising
Oddball, rock/country/noir/blues stuff and mightily enjoyable it is too. I like.
20 Brad – Sheepish
Hey, sPazAmp, that’s the ticket. Great Pearl Jam tracks and side-projects slipping in as well now, too. Not their strongest track (it isn’t on ‘Shame’, so how can it be) but always politely engaging. If I threw parties I’d put Brad on as things were slowing to an end, when only your best friends were left and were starting to slide into sofas and chairs whilst mumbling drunkenly to each other about things they only ever talk about when they’re drunk. I tend not to throw those parties though, which is a shame, because I’d like to go to a party where they played Brad at the end of the evening.

A Touch Of Deception

2007-11-11T07:51:00.000-08:00

Following the entertainment provided by Shoelace (must ask what that's all about) and his near legendary sPazAmping, it felt only natural to try a bit of the same. As the creator himself said (that's Shoelace again, or Dave to his mates, not The Creator), it is much more addictive than crack. So here I go, in at the deep end, long time listener, first time sPazAmper...

9th November 2007
1 Blackfield – Epidemic
An uninspiring start to the campaign. That band with that guy out of Porcupine Tree in it. Not entirely sure why I have this (I don’t own any Porcupine Tree for a start, so it's not like I'm some kind of uber-fan of them), but it is ok in a kind of epic rock kind of way – I claim to myself that I don’t like the album when it isn’t on but always find myself humming along when it’s on. Most irritating. Bizarrely, not something that's lurked in my record collection for 20 years but a recent download.
2 Inspiral Carpets – Caravan
Christ! I was expecting a rash of 80s metal and current jingle-jangle singer-songwriter nonsense to be unearthed and embarrass me wholesale. But here we are, second track in and looking vaguely credible. Only vaguely, mind. A likeable little number, nonetheless.
3 Love/Hate – Cream
Ah, this is more like it. Disasterously corny, sexist tosh from the depths of Los Angeles. There’ll be a lot of this, mark my words. A song about a nymphomaniac and blessed with the lyric “Took her in the alley…”. Honestly. She wants your peaches, but all you get is cream. Quite. From their second, less impressive album (Wasted In America) if anyone’s interested.
4 Death In Vegas – Rematerialised
We seem to be on a one-word-title fixation at present. Another song that indicates my musical tastes might be slightly more impressive than they actually are. I don’t think I’ve ever even listened to this before! Probably because it’s over 8 minutes long. Nice background music. Especially if you’re waiting for people to leave your house.
5 The Wedding Present – Gone
Gosh, yes. I have some Wedding Present stuff as well. Well done sPazAmp! I’m sure you’re stockpiling Bang Tango and LA Guns tracks as we speak. A splendid little track that happily passes 2:42 of anyone’s time.
6 Yourcodenameis:Milo – Sixfive
The Milo boys conveniently merge two words together to allow us to continue or one-word-title run! Yay! From their mildly good latest, ‘They Came From The Sun’, this is one of the mellower moments, but none the worse for it.
7 Cheap Trick – Taxman, Mr Thief
Classic Trick from their splendid eponymous debut. Does anyone use the word eponymous in any other context? Rick Neilson’s “wacky” guitars do their thing and keep the track rolling along nicely, thank you very much, Zander does his stuff and it’s all really good. Except for the chorus, which isn’t as good as the rest of the song deserves. Keep listening though, it’s mostly good.
8 The Duke Spirit – Stubborn Stitches
Noisy and short but rocks much less than a 30 year old Cheap Trick track.
9 Mylo – Guilty Of Love
See now, I’ve just discovered that sPazAmping provides a useful Public Service. MP3 player approaching optimum track fillage? No time to trawl your whole collection to find the useless bilge you inadvertently added to it just to make the numbers look more impressive? You need sPazAmp – a surefire way to quickly find the tracks you never want to listen to again. You’re guilty of something Mylo, but it ain’t love.
10 The Eighties Matchbox B-Line Disaster – Chicken
A band I never remember to listen to but who I always seem to enjoy once they sneak on. A faint whiff of the Dead Kennedy’s permeates but doesn’t overwhelm and leaves us with an enjoyable three minutes. Almost.
11 Hanoi Rocks – Back To Mystery City
Listen up all you late 80s glam metal pretenders. This is what you should be doing! Well, it’s what you should have been doing 20 years ago, at any rate. Goodness, what a long time ago. The Rocks were never the most brilliant band, to be honest, but they had a charm that a lot of their copiers lacked. And charm gets you a long way in this game. Well it got Hanoi Rocks to a 15 track Best Of, and they only really had 8 good songs. This is one of them, although it’s likely to be ranked 8th.
12 The Charlatans – The Blind Stagger
A track from their temporarily splendid ‘Us And Us Only’ album (my love of it faded faster than a Fiat Uno’s paintwork – and having owned both, I’m in a position to know). Tim Burgess seemed determined to sound like Bob Dylan and the Rolling Stones and hasn’t recovered since as far as I can tell. This is pleasantly distracting but not very Mancunian.
13 PJ Harvey – This Wicked Tongue
You see, I’ve never been a big Hair Metal fan (or a Big Hair Metal fan), honest. Just a cool indie kid, honest. Polly scares me, but in a good way.
14 Jane’s Addiction – True Nature
Sadly, not a classic from the early days but a track from the spectacularly ordinary comeback album, ‘Strays’. It’s like a Jane’s Addiction tribute band. It could be a hundred other bands (although not all at once). Perry’s voice is still distinctive enough but there’s no soul here. The whole album suffers from the same affliction. And the guitar solo is truly awful.
15 Death Cab For Cutie – New Candles
You can’t avoid Death Cab can you sPazAmp? I became obsessed and so must you. A song about handles for nukes, I think. An early one that riffs along like Boys vs. Girls without ever being quite so macho. Enjoyable but fairly ordinary within their canon.
16 The Eighties Matchbox B-Line Disaster – Morning Has Broken
No, not that one. More entertaining nonsense from the band with most-difficult-to-get-the-words-in-the-right-order name in music. I always want it to be a B-Line Matchbox Disaster. I think that would be better. I think I like them more than I should. Or realised.
17 The Thrills – Old Friends, New Lovers
Does the world really need diluted Byrds (might help if your a cat with a broken jaw, I suppose)? The Thrills - you aren't a watered-down Byrds. If you were a watered down Byrds, you’d be good. But you’re not, you’re just dullards. This is dull, dull, dull.
18 David Bowie – Suffragette City
Hey man, classic Bowie. Dig it.
19 Interpol – Next Exit
I like this a lot. I like it when my music gets all serious and sombre. Well done.
20 The Fall – Bombast
More misrepresentation from sPazAmp. Thanks very much. I don’t love The Fall. Never have. I clearly lack the ‘Mark E Smith is god’ gene. Occasionally they entertain me. This is ok, like most things they do, but it lacks a really memorable tune, like most things they do. Sorry.