A Touch Of Deception

Following the entertainment provided by Shoelace (must ask what that's all about) and his near legendary sPazAmping, it felt only natural to try a bit of the same. As the creator himself said (that's Shoelace again, or Dave to his mates, not The Creator), it is much more addictive than crack. So here I go, in at the deep end, long time listener, first time sPazAmper...

1. 9th November 2007
   1 Blackfield – Epidemic
   An uninspiring start to the campaign. That band with that guy out of Porcupine Tree in it. Not entirely sure why I have this (I don’t own any Porcupine Tree for a start, so it's not like I'm some kind of uber-fan of them), but it is ok in a kind of epic rock kind of way – I claim to myself that I don’t like the album when it isn’t on but always find myself humming along when it’s on. Most irritating. Bizarrely, not something that's lurked in my record collection for 20 years but a recent download.
   2 Inspiral Carpets – Caravan
   Christ! I was expecting a rash of 80s metal and current jingle-jangle singer-songwriter nonsense to be unearthed and embarrass me wholesale. But here we are, second track in and looking vaguely credible. Only vaguely, mind. A likeable little number, nonetheless.
   3 Love/Hate – Cream
   Ah, this is more like it. Disasterously corny, sexist tosh from the depths of Los Angeles. There’ll be a lot of this, mark my words. A song about a nymphomaniac and blessed with the lyric “Took her in the alley…”. Honestly. She wants your peaches, but all you get is cream. Quite. From their second, less impressive album (Wasted In America) if anyone’s interested.
   4 Death In Vegas – Rematerialised
   We seem to be on a one-word-title fixation at present. Another song that indicates my musical tastes might be slightly more impressive than they actually are. I don’t think I’ve ever even listened to this before! Probably because it’s over 8 minutes long. Nice background music. Especially if you’re waiting for people to leave your house.
   5 The Wedding Present – Gone
   Gosh, yes. I have some Wedding Present stuff as well. Well done sPazAmp! I’m sure you’re stockpiling Bang Tango and LA Guns tracks as we speak. A splendid little track that happily passes 2:42 of anyone’s time.
   6 Yourcodenameis:Milo – Sixfive
   The Milo boys conveniently merge two words together to allow us to continue or one-word-title run! Yay! From their mildly good latest, ‘They Came From The Sun’, this is one of the mellower moments, but none the worse for it.
   7 Cheap Trick – Taxman, Mr Thief
   Classic Trick from their splendid eponymous debut. Does anyone use the word eponymous in any other context? Rick Neilson’s “wacky” guitars do their thing and keep the track rolling along nicely, thank you very much, Zander does his stuff and it’s all really good. Except for the chorus, which isn’t as good as the rest of the song deserves. Keep listening though, it’s mostly good.
   8 The Duke Spirit – Stubborn Stitches
   Noisy and short but rocks much less than a 30 year old Cheap Trick track.
   9 Mylo – Guilty Of Love
   See now, I’ve just discovered that sPazAmping provides a useful Public Service. MP3 player approaching optimum track fillage? No time to trawl your whole collection to find the useless bilge you inadvertently added to it just to make the numbers look more impressive? You need sPazAmp – a surefire way to quickly find the tracks you never want to listen to again. You’re guilty of something Mylo, but it ain’t love.
   10 The Eighties Matchbox B-Line Disaster – Chicken
   A band I never remember to listen to but who I always seem to enjoy once they sneak on. A faint whiff of the Dead Kennedy’s permeates but doesn’t overwhelm and leaves us with an enjoyable three minutes. Almost.
   11 Hanoi Rocks – Back To Mystery City
   Listen up all you late 80s glam metal pretenders. This is what you should be doing! Well, it’s what you should have been doing 20 years ago, at any rate. Goodness, what a long time ago. The Rocks were never the most brilliant band, to be honest, but they had a charm that a lot of their copiers lacked. And charm gets you a long way in this game. Well it got Hanoi Rocks to a 15 track Best Of, and they only really had 8 good songs. This is one of them, although it’s likely to be ranked 8th.
   12 The Charlatans – The Blind Stagger
   A track from their temporarily splendid ‘Us And Us Only’ album (my love of it faded faster than a Fiat Uno’s paintwork – and having owned both, I’m in a position to know). Tim Burgess seemed determined to sound like Bob Dylan and the Rolling Stones and hasn’t recovered since as far as I can tell. This is pleasantly distracting but not very Mancunian.
   13 PJ Harvey – This Wicked Tongue
   You see, I’ve never been a big Hair Metal fan (or a Big Hair Metal fan), honest. Just a cool indie kid, honest. Polly scares me, but in a good way.
   14 Jane’s Addiction – True Nature
   Sadly, not a classic from the early days but a track from the spectacularly ordinary comeback album, ‘Strays’. It’s like a Jane’s Addiction tribute band. It could be a hundred other bands (although not all at once). Perry’s voice is still distinctive enough but there’s no soul here. The whole album suffers from the same affliction. And the guitar solo is truly awful.
   15 Death Cab For Cutie – New Candles
   You can’t avoid Death Cab can you sPazAmp? I became obsessed and so must you. A song about handles for nukes, I think. An early one that riffs along like Boys vs. Girls without ever being quite so macho. Enjoyable but fairly ordinary within their canon.
   16 The Eighties Matchbox B-Line Disaster – Morning Has Broken
   No, not that one. More entertaining nonsense from the band with most-difficult-to-get-the-words-in-the-right-order name in music. I always want it to be a B-Line Matchbox Disaster. I think that would be better. I think I like them more than I should. Or realised.
   17 The Thrills – Old Friends, New Lovers
   Does the world really need diluted Byrds (might help if your a cat with a broken jaw, I suppose)? The Thrills - you aren't a watered-down Byrds. If you were a watered down Byrds, you’d be good. But you’re not, you’re just dullards. This is dull, dull, dull.
   18 David Bowie – Suffragette City
   Hey man, classic Bowie. Dig it.
   19 Interpol – Next Exit
   I like this a lot. I like it when my music gets all serious and sombre. Well done.
   20 The Fall – Bombast
   More misrepresentation from sPazAmp. Thanks very much. I don’t love The Fall. Never have. I clearly lack the ‘Mark E Smith is god’ gene. Occasionally they entertain me. This is ok, like most things they do, but it lacks a really memorable tune, like most things they do. Sorry.